Why the heck am I doing this??

I have had many people say to me, "Wow - it's amazing what you're doing", and "I feel bad that I'm not doing something like this, and helping people", and of the sorts...

My response to them is "We are all doing something amazing. And whatever business you're in, (I had a musician from Nashville feel bad for what he was doing, after comparing it to what I'm doing) you are helping people too. If you're a musician, you're providing entertainment for people. A way to get away from their reality for 3 minutes. You're inspiring people. And if you're in the corporate world? Well, hopefully whatever business is that you're in, you're helping it grow, which, in turn, pays your (and your family's) bills, and hopefully is helping a customer out there. And honestly, I'm not dating, or married, or own a house, and I'm doing this because I CAN. I just had an opportunity in my life to leave the States for 2 years. I'm sure you would do the same if the opportunity came your way. And even if you think that you couldn't live in a hut and take a bucket bath for 2 years, doesn't mean you can't make a mark somewhere, helping people."

When people say these things to me, I guess I don't understand what they mean. Yes, this is difficult at times, and challenging, and rewarding, and frustrating, and enjoyable. But so are other jobs. And no, not everyone could move out of country for 2 years to do this. There's no money going into savings or an IRA. There's just work. However little or much you want to do. And yes, I miss family and friends.  But so do people who move cross country for a new job or life. But then again, maybe I don't understand what they mean because I've been living here and have adjusted to this life....because almost a year ago, I guess you'd say I'd say the same thing....So I'm learning! And this is what this experience is supposed to be!

And then people will say they feel bad for material things they have, or the amount of money they're making. And here I am, not making much at all, living without electricity.

To them, I say, that just because the people I live with in the village don't have much money, and struggle finding water and food at times, and I'm living like this right now, doesn't mean I want to, or feel I have to, live this way for the rest of my life. If I have the opportunity to make the money to buy a house, or a car, or nice clothes, or a great big comfortable bed and flat screen TV, then I'll get these things. The difference is, now, I sooooo appreciate them. I appreciate a refrigerator, and a hot shower, and a comfortable pillow, and a microwave. I don't feel I have to live like those in a developing country, just because they live that way. I have learned to appreciate and count my blessings for those things I am able to have. And you know what? My Namibian family and the others in the village do exactly the same!!

Recently I found myself getting very defensive when a friend was asking me about what I'm doing, and how I'm enjoying this experience. He said "How does it feel the be helping the less fortunate?" And "do you get up and save lives, build huts and educate the third world youth?

Ok, first of all, I HATE the term "third world." It's not that anymore. It's a developing country. They are young. Namibia became independent in 1990. And the war to gain their independence? Well, this if for another blog post, but after listening to my Meme talk about her experience when the soldiers came to her house, and the way the war went, you would have thought this happened back in the 1800s. So, they are young, and are slowly growing. They have a government in place, which may not be up to "western world" standards or levels, but every few years, they have a development plan, (if you want to read the most updated plan, click on this link: NDP4) and they are working their way forward. Oh, and if you were to come to Windhoek, or even some of the other cities in this country, you would never think of it as "third world" or "developing". 

Ok, secondly, no, I don't save lives. I help those where I can, how I can. But I'm not some saint or angel or god that came from America to "save" these people. They're doing pretty well on their own. I'm just assisting them, from another perspective, to hopefully quicken the pace at which they are developing. But again, the government is still here and helping them. And no, I can't really go against, or change, the government.  And one more thing about the Peace Corps. We have 3 goals. These are:

To promote world peace and friendship by fulfilling 3 goals:

• To help the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women
• To help promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the people served
• To help promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans

And these are the goals I hope to achieve. By writing and sharing this blog, I am helping with the third goal - helping Americans understand better, the other people in this world.

Now, I need to address one more thing my friend said - "How does it feel the be helping the less fortunate?" Ugh. What the heck does "less fortunate" mean???? That term really ate at me. What does he mean by this?? So, I looked up the definition of "fortunate". It means:

• favored by or involving good luck or fortune; lucky
• auspicious or favorable
• materially well-off; prosperous

Ok, so maybe the people in my village don't have all the material things that many Americans have. But, there are also MANY Namibians who have a lot of money. Did you know that one of the questions in the census they conduct here, is "How many planes do you own?" Which means, there are enough Namibians who own planes that this is a significant question. Is this same question on the US Census? Probably not.

And luck? I don't know. I guess we can say that we are "lucky" to have been born into a certain type of family or environment. But does that make them LESS lucky? Or LESS fortunate??

I'll tell you that every night when my Namibian family has dinner around the open fire, they are sharing stories, singing, dancing, and laughing. They are happy! They understand that part of their lives is working in the fields - plowing, planting, harvesting. They have to take care of their goats and cattle so they can eat. It's just a different way of life. But that's what they know, and they love it. I think, that even if they had lots of money, and a car, and a supermarket right around the corner from the house, they would still grow and harvest and cook their mahangu and traditional foods. So are they LESS fortunate??

You tell me....

So, why am I doing this? Because I can. And because for the first time in my life, I get to work, for the sake of doing something, and not worrying about what my paycheck will be at the end of the month. I don't clock out at 5 on the dot, because I refuse to work a minute past, since I'm not getting paid for that time. I've never been like that. I put in the work because it's the right thing to do. If you have to work overtime to get a project done, you do. And you don't ask to get paid extra for that overtime. Maybe that's wrong of me. Maybe I should have expected overtime pay. But that's not me. And I know my father would hate me saying this, but money doesn't matter to me as much as it does to others. Of course, I want to make money to buy the things I want, or buy a house, or travel to exciting new places. But I don't take a job just because it doesn't pay well. (Of course, I need an income that will pay the bills and save for retirement when I'm no longer working). But I take the job because it's what I want to do. I like the JOB, not the MONEY. 

What I'm saying is, for the first time in my life, I don't have to worry about how much I'm making or saving, etc. I get to work for the love of it! I know this won't support me when I retire, but at least I get to experience it for a moment in my life....before having to go back to the "real world" and get a "real job""so I can put more money aside for savings and retirement.....

Oh, and I love helping people more than anything in this world!!!! I enjoy putting others before me. It's just what I do. And I know there are times that I shouldn't do that, and I'm trying to find balance. But this life is not about the ME. It's about US. And if that means I have to help YOU so WE can enjoy it, well then, that's just what I'm going to do..... 

So, why the heck would I leave everything I'm familiar with, and know, and friends and family, to travel around the world, to a place where we don't even have 3G, and live in a hut in a village deep in the bush for 2 years? 

Because I want to. Because I can. Because I want new experiences. Because I've lived in the States for 38 years of my life, so why not try somewhere else? Because I love helping people. 

Because maybe this will become my new passion. And you know what?  This is already starting to happen for me!!! 

Peace & Love,

Ndapandula

p.s. if my computer will cooperate, I'll soon be finishing up a video for my next blog about my Animal Holiday...I just wanted to get these other thoughts written down and share them with all of you.....